Offering BDSM Services: 5 Things You Need to Know



    Offering BDSM Services: 5 Things You Need to Know

When Fifty Shades of Grey hit the stands and the Box Office, there was a sudden massive spotlight on the world of BDSM. However, lifestylers (term used to refer to those who practice BDSM) were quick to criticize the books/movies for their inaccurate depictions of a world that has been around for centuries. Using these books as a guide into BDSM is a recipe for disaster and if you are an escort looking to diversify your services and venture into the kink world, here are a few basics that you should always keep in mind.


                                


1.What is BDSM?


BDSM is an acronym that covers three parts:

  • Bondage/Discipline, 
  • Dominance/Submission,
  • Sadism/Masochism. 

These different aspects of BDSM cover a wide range of acts, and there is no finite number, as plays usually get reinvented over and over again to match the needs and requirements of the players. There is no limit as to which direction the play may take, as sometimes bondage and sadism are combined, and there is no play that doesn’t include acts from the various aspects of the BDSM spectrum. 


However, as an escort, it is always imperative that you identify where your main play is. 

Are you the top, the bottom or are you open to switching? 

The top is the dominant, the one who gives out the instructions, the one who ties up the other party or inflicts pain. The bottom is the recipient during the play, and usually achieves satisfaction through relinquishing control to the top. Switching means that you are a top or a bottom depending on the play and your partner’s needs.

As you prepare your service list, always ensure that you provide your preferred position and if you are open to switching, and under which conditions.


                                


2. You Have to Choose Your Area of Expertise


With the wide range of services under the BDSM umbrella, there is no single person who can claim to provide every single service that is available.

Safety first!  

BDSM is a dangerous play, and safety is usually of utmost importance since any mishaps may cause irreparable damage. Within bondage alone, there are so many options, and all of them have various levels of complexity and set of rules. If you are offering bondage as a dominant, you have to be conversant with various types of knots, their complexity and the process of releasing your submissive without hurting him/her. Additionally, there are so many types of bondage play and this can be as simple as fluffy handcuff bondage or as complex as suspension. 


Keeping in mind all the various services you can provide, you have to choose the specific service and give your specific advancement in the said service. Providing a detailed account of the services you are offering allows you to find a client who will be able to achieve satisfaction within the same limits that you have provided. Never provide a service you have never tested beforehand just because your client wants to do it.


                                


3. Communication is the Key to a Successful Session


BDSM involves a great deal of open and honest communication, and for good reason. With the safety risks inherent in BDSM, partners are responsible for each other’s welfare. Take for example impact play (involves inflicting pain on the submissive by hitting, spanking, whipping, etc), which has so many ways that can be used to achieve the desired objective. 

It is better to be honest !

If your partner has a low pain threshold, whipping will be certainly not be an option. However, they have to communicate honestly about their inability to withstand that much pain so that whips are completely taken out of play. Both parties should express their likes and dislikes, as well as their hard and soft limits. Hard limits are things that are completely off the table while soft limits are those acts that are on the table, but have a limit as to how far they can be taken.


This communication sets the stage and allows both parties to place their trust in each other, providing room for safe and pleasurable play. However, communication goes way beyond the planning stage. During play, the submissive is expected to verbalize any discomfort, or even their general experience during play. The dominant and submissive keep the communication going to ensure that each is aware of the experience of the other party. It allows them to progress within the limits, and to be aware of when the limits have been reached.


                                


4. Safe Words: The Last Line of Defense


The most important part of BDSM is the utterance of the predetermined set of safe words. Safe words are the last line of defense, ensuring that no harm is inflicted to the submissive. They prevent the dominant from surpassing the limits and causing both physical and psychological harm to the submissive. Once the safe word is uttered, the dominant has to obey the wishes of the submissive without fail. Depending on the players, there may be a single safe word or multiple safe words that depict different actions that the dominant should take. The most popular safe word system is the use of traffic lights: 

  • green tells the dominant to keep going, amber relays to the dominant to proceed cautiously,
  •  red means the play is put to an end, no questions asked.

Safe words cannot use common words like stop or don’t since these are words that are frequently uttered in the heat of the moment, sometimes as a way to motivate the top to keep going. When choosing a safe word(s), always ensure that you pick terms that cannot be casually used in conversation. This gives the dominant a clear directive when the sub has had enough.


                                


5. Don’t Offer BDSM If You Don’t Like It


BDSM is not for everyone!

Unlike “vanilla” sex, BDSM is a sexual experience unlike no other, and it has its own set of rules of engagement. Not everyone is cut out to enjoy the various plays and it does not mean that you are a failure. Escort services cover a whole range of diverse options, and you can always focus on something you like. BDSM is play that requires a fully trusting relationship between the partners and if you are not enjoying the experience, then this will cause the session to be unsatisfactory for both parties or even lead to serious injury. Your services should be a match to your preferences if you are ever going to satisfy your clients. So take the time to experiment with BDSM outside your professional setting and only offer the services once you are confident that you can actually serve your clients wholeheartedly.


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